Buzz, ping, flash, tap, swipe, scroll. These are all words now associated with my life that I kind of wish weren't.
Fact is, the path I seem to be on requires a lot of the above and I've found myself shamefully addicted to devices. The same bits of kit I moan at my kids for being wired up to when they could be climbing trees or scaring old people playing knock a door run. The same precious tackle I snap at my husband for fiddling with when he can't sleep. SERIOUSLY, wouldn't he rather fiddle with his other tackle?
Some days I want to flush them all down the loo and have a hope of raising boys that know more about conker fights than they do about snapchat filters.
Anyway.... now that I've made you feel miserable for your constant connection with technology too, let me offer you a bit of rock salt to rub in your wired up wounds.
All the way from the Himalayas, where the air is clean and the wifi is scarce, comes these big bad boys of wellbeing.
They're ugly, you say? Fair point, you're entitled to your opinion, but before you dismiss them purely on account of their looks (see how shallow modern life has made you?) Can I ask you to consider this:
What if they magically ionise the air, cancelling out all the craziness we've introduced to our homes and our lives via gadgets, technology and the Internet?
Hmmm, still a bit ugly, but that sounds kinda cool.
What if they emitted such a beautiful (fashionably blush pink as it happens) glow about a room that you instantly begin to calm down and soak up those good vibes after a swine of a day in the office?
Nice, but if it doesn't go with the decor....
What if it reduces airbourne pollutants that irritate asthma or eczema sufferers so that they finally get a good night's kip?
Snooze - there's cream for that kind of shizz...
What if the colour of romance crept into your late night, stressed out, "don't even think about touching me" psyche and subconsciously turned another light on?
Now we're talking, right?
Look, I've had this lamp a couple of weeks, that's all. I was prompted to get one from my local health food shop, Ryecorn, after a chat with the amazing guy who runs it. John is older and wiser than me. He supplies me with protein powder and asks me why I don't just have a can of beans. He makes creams and oils for about a fiver that have had more healing powers and anti-ageing effects than anything I've tried with added noughts on the price tag. He believes in being kind to oneself, that life is hard enough without us making it more complicated. He does not believe Pinterest has a direct link to happiness. (Nobody is perfect).
John the health food guy had a window full of the lamps and, when I appeared to be taking my time choosing one (I was trying to get a sneaky pic for Instagram stories) he insisted I didn't rush the process and find the one that spoke to me.
John asked me if I believed in crystals and I wasn't lying when I said I did. Remember my post about Chakras? Pleased with this response and ignoring the queue of waiting customers, John proceeded to tell me about other rocks that are dug out of the earth for their chemical properties. "Take Uranium for example", he said, which of course I know nothing about except that it's radioactive and therefore one one of the scariest, most powerful substances known to man. And if Uranium is just another 250 million year old lump of rock then what's to stop this chunk of the Earth's ancient core having super powers too?
"I hope it helps," he said as I humped my chunk of pink salt out of the shop. "But if it doesn't, you can always grate some off for your chips," he laughed. John the health food guy doesn't like waste.
Here's the science bit
So has it worked?
Well, like I say, we haven't had it long, but it's fair to say our sleep has increased and headaches decreased in that short space of time. My husband - a financial adviser - still needs convincing that this has more to do with the magic lamp, than it does the end of the tax year.
Me? All I know is that sleep deprivation was that thing we didn't mention for fear that acknowledging it would make it worse. This morning we both commented how well we'd been sleeping and how good we felt when we woke up. It's not been proven, but it's certainly looking like the elephant in the room has been replaced by a big pink lump of rock salt.
So whether you like the look of them or not (and for the record I do. It's just an added bonus that it goes with my dusky pink colour scheme) I think Himalayan rock salt lamps are worth a shot, especially if you're feeling a little too wired of late.
Just like having plants and flowers in your home, I'm convinced that surrounding yourself with elements of nature can only be a positive thing. And anyway, what's the worst that can happen? They become the lava lamps of our generation? A cliched holistic healthcare fad that you can smash up and use to exfoliate with?
Of course, rather than try to counteract global technology pollution with a relatively small chunk of the himalayan foot hills, we could always flush the evil devices we are so reliant on down the loo. That's my plan B. 'Til then I'm willing to give this funny looking lamp a fair shot. Besides which, I've done my research and look, they're really quite hip. See my wellbeing Pinterest board for inspo*
Want to win a 250 million year old chunk of wellbeing then? No probs. Simply like and share this post, follow My House candy facebook page and let me know why your home needs some holistic help in the comments section. I will pick the winner on 30th April.
Good luck, good health and goodnight my friends!